In Searching the Meaning of Scholarship

At all my life, I never thought I qualified to get scholarship. I came from quite prosperous family. Even though my mother had never entered job market, but my father is civil servant in health sector. From elementary school until I sat on university bench, my father never asked me to seek for scholarship. Most of the time, he paid my tuition fee on time so I rarely got a complaint from school officer. Moreover, I got enough allowance from my dad for daily expense. The conclusion is I did not need a scholarship hence my father never asked me to look for it.

The second reason why I think scholarship isn’t for me is because it’s only for intelligent student. I am not one of them. When I was at elementary school until university, I was ordinary student who had ordinary academic achievement. I never involved deeply in school/university organization. My rank in school was ok, actually. Neither in upper level nor bottom level. The highest achievement was 2^nd rank in junior high school. After entering senior high school, I was left behind by my classmate.

Those are two reasons why I never thought scholarship is for me. However, I had one unforgettable experience when applied for scholarship. It was 2012, I attended in scholarship interview by committee in Magister Manajemen Universitas Gadjah Mada (MM UGM). I hoped that I could get MM UGM scholarship so I could carry on my master degree. The interview went well until one of the committees was asking me “What is your father’s job and how much he earned annually?”. I answered the question truthfully and that was the critical point where the committee think I did not qualify for scholarship. Not long after the interview, I informed that I wasn’t successful to get MM UGM’s scholarship. I disappointed, of course, and never applied for scholarship until 9 years later. I write story about my recent journey to obtain scholarship in here.  

Even though I didn’t believe I could got scholarship. My desire to continue master degree is still high even though I decided to quit from MM UGM in the first year (at that time, my father had economic issue so his income level declined and I quit from MM UGM). About my desire to continue study, even until Doctoral study, I have a story about it. My late grandfather always said to me “Hilmy, you must continue your study until Doctoral study. Go to Cairo (Al Azhar University)!”. I assumed my late grandfather prayed for me every day, so that’s (I think) where I get my passion to study in higher degree. 

Two years after working as civil servant, 9 years later after the rejection from MM UGM’s scholarship, the opportunity to continue study was once again open. I realized there were many chances to get scholarship from Bappenas, LPDP, AAS, Stuned, Chevening, and many more. Having read information from each scholarship provider website, I didn’t see any prerequisite stated that the applicant must come from low-income family. Everyone get the same opportunity to study regardless their income level. At this point, I believe that I’m eligible to obtain scholarship if I well-prepared and ready to work hard for it. So in early 2021, I began my journey to obtain scholarship.

At the end, I know that Al Azhar University was not on my list as priority university. My late grandfather’s dream on me was not entirely fulfilled. However, I hope I could fulfil his dream to continue study at Doctoral level. I also realized that everyone can get scholarship if they fully informed, well prepared, and ready to work hard to get it.

That is my story. Searching the meaning of scholarship.

Membaca 2017

 

Tahun 2017 akan segera berlalu. Sepanjang tahun ini ada beberapa buku yang telah saya selesaikan membacanya. Sekalipun saya akui bahwa pembelian buku saya jauh lebih besar daripada jumlah buku yang sudah saya selesaikan. Tak jarang belum selesai satu buku, sudah tambah lagi buku lainnya. Jika ibu-ibu senang belanja sepatu, baju, dan tas, maka saya senang sekali belanja buku (kadang yang dibelanjakan belum tentu dibaca).

Birth of Alkhalifi (Part I)

 

Usai CTG diketoklah palu keputusan bahwa dalam waktu 8 jam operasi sectio caesar harus dilakukan. “Kok harus caesar sih? Bukannya masih bisa normal?” Protes saya. Namun ucapan suster membuat kami mau tidak mau harus mempersiapkan mental untuk menjalani rencana paling terakhir, yaitu operasi sectio caesar. “Iya pak, karena Ibu sudah ketuban pecah dini sehingga dalam waktu 8 jam sudah harus bisa melahirkan atau nanti ada resiko” begitulah ucapan suster kepada kami.

 

Pagi hari Selasa tanggal 5 Juli 2016, Kami berencana untuk menonton film yang baru saja tayang di bioskop yaitu “Sabtu Bersama Bapak”. We both love the novel and by the time the official movie was released, we are so excited to watch it. Namun sebelum pergi ke bioskop, Kami sudah dijadwalkan untuk melakukan pemeriksaan CTG kandungan di RSIA Kemang Medical Care. Dengan hati berbunga (karena kami akan menonton setelah itu), kami berangkat. Alloh Subhanahu wa ta’ala berkehendak lain, Dia memiliki rencana yang lebih indah bahkan terindah. Setelah sedikit diskusi dengan suster dan pihak rumah sakit yang berujung pada keputusan observasi 8 jam dan harus melahirkan hari itu juga, istri saya masih sempat bertanya “Jadi saya sudah gak boleh ke bioskop lagi nih suster?”, sebuah pertanyaan lucu bagi pihak rumah sakit tapi tidak untuk kami yang memang sudah kebelet banget mau nonton.

Tidak! Sesungguhnya Tuhanku Bersamaku

Suatu hari saya iseng buka-buka twitter dari ustad Yusuf Mansur. Beliau menshare tentang ayat yang memberikan motivasi untuk kita agar tidak takut. Tidak takut menghadapi masalah hidup apapun bentuknya, karena sesungguhnya Alloh bersama kita.

Ayat yang beliau share adalah surat Asy-Syuara ayat 9-62. Ayat ini mengisahkan tentang Nabi Musa dan Firaun. Dikisahkan setelah Nabi Musa menyampaikan dakwah kepada Firaun yang ditolak olehnya, Firaun hendak menghabisi Nabi Musa dan bani Israil. Dalam upaya pengejaran itu, terbentanglah jalan buntu berupa laut merah. Para pengikut Nabi Musa khawatir akan terkejar dan berkata di ayat yang ke 61 “…Kita benar-benar akan tersusul”. Tapi Nabi Musa menjawab dengan mantap dan tanpa ragu setitikpun “Sekali-kali tidak (tidak akan terkejar). Sesungguhnya Tuhanku bersamaku, Dia akan memberi petunjuk kepadaku”. Maka di akhir cerita, Nabi Musa dan pengikutnya selamat sementara Firaun tenggelam.

Dalam hidup kita sehari-hari, kita sering merasa akan bangkrut, miskin, tidak punya keturunan, takut dihinakan, dan berbagai kekhawatiran lainnya. Itu diibaratkan pasukan Firaun yang sudah pasti akan menyusul Nabi Musa dan kaumnya. Ketika kita miskin, qt merasa tidak mungkin bisa hidup layak. Ketika kita divonis penyakit mematikan, qt merasa mustahil sembuh. Ketika qt dianggap bodoh, qt merasa mustahil bisa jadi profesor. Tapi orang-orang yang bermental Nabi Musa akan menjawab dengan optimis “Tidak! Sesungguhnya Tuhanku bersamaku. Dia akan memberi petunjuk padaku!”. Maka kitapun melihat bagaimana seorang mantan loper koran bisa menjadi menteri, anak petani bisa menjadi presiden, anak orang miskin yang tinggal di daerah miskin menjadi profesor, anak singkong menjadi milyuner, dan berbagai kisah lainnya.

Bagaimana menumbuhkan sikap baja dan optimis ala Nabi Musa, yang berani berkata “Tidak! Sesungguhnya Tuhanku bersamaku” ? Tentunya keimanan yang begitu kuat kepada Alloh. Keyakinan bahwa Alloh tidak akan menyalahi janji-Nya kepada hamba-Nya yang berbuat kebaikan. Dengan modal itulah, Insya Alloh kita bisa meniru keimanan yang dimiliki Nabi Musa kala menghadapi masalah.